Showing posts from March, 2006

Got what in heaven?

I went to Shah nadrin (my friend) room, and i smile. Even though i was so sad, but i can show it. I still smile. This is my problem. Bad new come and go. What we get we will deserve to lose it too. Everytime i woke up in the morning, i start to think, why i'm still breathing? Why i'm still here. Why i still have a gut to live? Because i still have a chance to live, but most of the thing i can't do. Most of the thing is so complicated for me to think. I want to stop thinking, but that is the only thing i good of. Thinking .... thinking something useless or beneficial. Beside thinking, i smile. Like a crazy one. I smile..thinking about my life, what have i done, what have i do wrong. So many. I still go to my Drama practice after receiving something that almost killed my happiness. I have no more mood to talk, to walk, to smile. But still i talk, walk and smile. And for the first time last night. I seriously think about heaven. Whatz in it? What thing they got the

Mind Raisin part III

And I a little concern about the religion thing they put in the product. I taught that if we really want to get a good mind, we will have to pray a lot to the God, eat Halal food, don’t eat lot of junk food cause in Islam, eating something that is bad for your health is Haram. And eating that raisin also can be good. Mostly Islam did tell us to eat something healthy like that…. Raisin, nut…I remember a little bit only about what kind of food that is good for your mind in Islam. But what I don’t like is when they said that they have put some spell like in this raisin and God will cleverness to the one that eat it. Like they sure that they God have already put the cleverness inside that raisin. And they sell it for a high price. I see a lot of my friends that is really clever, Muslin or non-muslim, they eat ordinary raisin due to the fact that raisin really contribute maybe about 0.0005% to your mind. And I see that the Mind raisin and the ordinary raisin is actually the same thing. No

Mind Raisin part II

All of my teachers were very surprise at me. They never think that I can be much better than stupid. And I also didn’t know why suddenly I become like that. I only know how to eat, play, sleep, and I never think about study. But I did it. I never get second place after that. I remember once, my mother said to me about why she gave me a lot of food at that time. She said that she was looking at the past when we have nothing to eat because we don’t have money, thus when there is a little bit of money she sure only know to cook and give us food. That is a normal feeling of a mother with a difficult past. But I’m going to stop telling story about that. Now about the food supplement that I take to make me more clever( did I say more? :-p). Okay, the first thing is breakfast. My mother really concern about my breakfast. Every morning she prepare our breakfast. Usually rice and egg. I don’t why that menu is introduce, but is sure cheap and provide enough energy for my brain until the aftern

Mind Raisin part I

This is a joke only… I’m not taking it seriously cause for me, everyone have their own belief and what their believing is what will guide them through the whole journey of their life. Ok…This story begin years and years ago, when I was still young or actually a primary school student. Because all of the people surround me, always saying that I’m stupid. I take a long time to learn to read. I never have a good reputation in my academic. I can call myself.. stupid at that time (Now maybe no big difference, or maybe there is). I think at that time, the thing that contributes to my un-cleverness is the diet I take. If someone see me that time, I have no difference between me and the starved child at Somalia. Because I remember my family was very poor that time. We can’t afford to buy a good nutrition for ourselves. Everyday just eat plain rice with small fish that we caught in the sea near our house. Even though I’m only around 4-5 years old but I still can remember it. Of course I can’t r


Smile I realize it when I entered my secondary school. Before that I never know what human feelings are. What is angry? What is happy? What is Sad? For me, angry is for my mother scolding me happy is for our family went to the beach and had a lunch together while me and my sister playing with the sand at the beach. Sad is when I don’t get what I want…when my parents didn’t give me what I want. That’s all I know…. But... when I reach 13, I start to understand some of the human’s feeling. But still I confused about it. This story, related to our expression, happen when I was in form 4. I’m studying in SMSL labuan, a boarding school. And there, I find that female and male are two different things and must be separate and cannot live together with each other. This is due to the ego of the male and the nonsense act of the female. Don’t know which one is true... but our age that time…full of exciting hormone, hormonal changes, create our own thinking and self declare a sex war. Battle of t

Fun Life

We are so proud.... We are so strong.. I like to hear lyrics...and understand them. Some people just listen to some it rhymitic sound, the music is good..then say its a good song. I say no.. I don't know why but most of the human being are like that, because music is entertaiment, it make us happy, sad, relax and calm but i take it seriously because i just don't judge a song from its rhyming, but their meaning. A song can be a teacher, can be a storyteller, mind opener, and a lot more things if you realy understand what does it means. That's why i take a hundred times repeating a song because some song a really hard to understand, and some vocabulary is not familiar with me. I listen to Malay song, English and also chinese but chinese song, i honestly can't understand because i don't learn Chinese language. Thus, i only can understand Malay and English song. How pity...kekeke.. Wait, what i want to talk about in this article is not about music..caus

Trying to forget...HIP HOP

I'm trying to remember almost everything right now. remembering the name of bacteria, the name of antibiotics, remebering the facts, the practical thing, mechanism, name of muscles, name of disease... Everything gpes into my brain... But despite of all of that, i'm trying to forget my past...really..really want to forget some of my past. I'm alone in a bus..8.30 a colourful light of Kota Kinabalu Town..the place where i have been before this, but i've been there in a different situation, different a whole different perspective about life. I remember this is the town where me and my friends create Visitorz Car Phark, one of my own personal legend... Ou own legend. I still have the picture where we take a picture of a signboard that give us a lot of inspiration of the future. Lots of stroy but i couldn't tell here. Cause i only talk the moral of the story here. Our life could be a journal that is beneficial to the others... I'm really