The

THE CAR It’s been a long time… Lots happen nowadays. I feel that my life change a lot in just a year in this Medical School. I feel like I’m not the one like before. I’m different. And I hate it. Cause I like to be like I used to be before, going anywhere I want, doing whatever I want, and I never think of wasting time or wasting anything. Because for me my life will never be wasted even I spend a day in a shopping complex looking at every people that passes me by. I didn’t really fed up with my life now cause it’s becoming more interesting, with lots of new things I’ve learned everyday. This is what I wanted to do, and I’m doing it now. I like the adrenaline rush in my body. I really like to be in a situation that is really hard to be handled. It’s a new semester again and thing change a little bit because now I have my own car and I did not have to wait for bus anymore. I can wake up late in the morning, and I can go to the library anytime I want. So my life now isn’t that much boring anymore because I have a lot of time now. Before I got the car, I think I have only a little time because I have to budget my time to wait the bus, to eat, to go to language class, now no more worry. THE BAD LUCK Why do I usually feel that I always facing a bad luck. I always burden with something that I don’t want to happen. I have a car, and unfortunately the car have a lot of problem to be fix. I have a printer, and the printer broke down when I really want to use it tonight. I bring my friend to Night Market in UMS, and I’m the one who have to spend them ice cream (they force me). I usually feel like I’m the worse person in the world. “What’s the worse Zaki? A male, with a car, with no money, and with no girlfriend, running here, and running there doing work and study. Are you normal?” what kind of sentence is this? A friend throws it to me humorously but to think about it again, it’s true. So do I feel that worse? No. Haha. I’m the one who live with only one simple principle, live long, die later, and never concern about the both. It’s simple. I do what I want to do, and I feel happy doing it. Life is not just about a car, a girl, and money. Life is about the thing you do that bring benefit to the other. I’m talking about my quality of life. There is one time where I said I want to do good to everyone even my enemy. I keep my word. Can’t keep it for a long time though. THE ENEMY So after the love-hate-tragedy, how many enemy are there in my list? Let me think about it. I can’t count it or maybe there is none of it. I did not like to make enemy. I want to be friendly with everyone. That’s why I put a lot of effort to recognize and remember all my classmates name. Because if I know their name, even though I didn’t know what to converse with them, but still I can’t call their name. It’s more nice I think. Back to my enemy, is there any of the people around there is my enemy? Well, like my friend, Rafshan (now study Medic in Indon), told me, I’m the one that have no-enemy-kind-of-face but to tell the truth, I did hate someone in my life. Hope that it’s not you because I never show my hatred to everyone. It’s inside me. Growling inside me. And I keep it down until I really can’t hold it anymore. And to tell the truth, there is one people who already tasted my hatred. I’m sorry but you force my devil to come out. THE REVENGE AND FORGIVENESS Did I mention before this that I’m a forgiveful person? Well if I do is should explain it more on how I forgive person. Ok, to ask forgiveness from me, you must: 1. Say sorry before I do. Or say sorry after I do. 2. Keep quiet after saying sorry. 3. Don’t bring another matter into our discussion after saying sorry. 4. Try to be like everything is your fault. 5. Don’t do anything that will make you say sorry again 6. Don’t expect that every mistake you make can be forgive by me Only six step? Maybe I’ll add more. Should I say, subject may due to change. What if you didn’t fulfill this six criteria? Ok, I give you an advice, pray a lot and ask God to forgive you cause even if I can’t forgive, God can. THE SMILE Should I say I like to smile? But I can’t really say that I’m a smily person. Because if you look to my face, the first impression you got is that I’m bad, I’m fierce, I eat human, I’m full of revenge. Right? But actually I like to smile and I smile a lot with my friend. And I don’t like to be serious. I do become serious if it is required, but if it’s not, I will become crazy. Now I’m happy with my new PBL group (Discussion group) cause many of them are full with humor. So it is more fun rather than the last one. I remember the last one, everyone is too serious, I’m trying to make a humor inside to make the environment more warm but then I’m the one who are targeted as a ‘this guy’. Like I’m doing a bad thing. The odd thing is, I like to see other people smile. That’s it. That’s why I like to make stupid joke, because sometime you smile when you heard it (and because I can’t make a clever joke I think). So every smile that I see is making me very happy. Very sweet and full of the world. People should smile. I hate people that look tension and stress. Because for me, even though I’m facing a big big problem, I still can smile. The best person in the world is the person who knows how to smile. I like our Dean word to our junior a few weeks ago, “In medical school, you should learn how to smile!!!” THE UPDATE It’s not complete if I didn’t compile here my latest update even though no one want to read it. Just for fun. It’s a ‘wasting time to read’ blog remember. Ok, few weeks ago a new semester start, and not that much tension cause it’s still early. Just learning about nutrition and health promotion. So now I have junior again. Last time I have junior was in my secondary school obviously. I didn’t really like to attach myself to a junior though. I feel funny when people are rushing to tackle their junior. It’s funny but it’s normal and fun. For me, I rest my life for a bit long time now. I don’t want any girlfriend because I feel it’s hard to take care of myself so what if there is another person to take care of? About my music, I feel like I want to join the battle of the band this September. But I don’t know whether I have time to practice or not. I just received my book that I order by SMS last week,2 days ago. Now I have book to read. It’s weird why I like book that much. Suppose that I hate it very much. It’s thick and got a lot of word but I love it. Cause it will make my future bright or maybe this is what our Dean aid last year “After you enter the School of Medicine, slowly you will change.” NOOOOOO! I don’t want to be converted to a bookworm. Help me. Help me. I meet many of old time friends here. They supposed to be my classmate before but now they are my juniors. Eventually, and fortunately they did not get medicine. If they enter medicine as my junior, I’m dead. No one know the power of us if we combine like before. Haha. And there is no one from Labuan that enter UMS medical school….wait…there is one. But can I consider him Labuanese? He is my junior from SMSL or St.Anthony I forgot. But I don’t like him cause he absent during orientation day and he spoiled the good image of Labuanese. Hmm, not much happen during the last period of time. Everything seems to be normal to me now. I feel more energetic in this 2nd year. THE CONCLUSION You think this is a report ar that have conclusion? What happen to you? To schema… you write a blog like an assignment that have be sent to the prof ka? Don’t be like this la zaki, you should be more cool la. Stupid la like this. If you continue like this ar, you will be alone forever….. (this is not my typing. This is my hollow inside me that always ask me to do bad thing. Forget him. More specifically ignore him. He is only like me but evil. So if you see me on the street, think twice, it maybe my hollow. My hollow is dangerous, he only think about satiety. Please beware)))))) Ascap23 29 July 2006 P:S: The last part of this blog is written by Ascap46.