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ADVICE

If someone comes to you and ask for direction, where would you put your finger to?
If someone comes to you and ask for your advice, how do you choose the correct word?

People usually seek someone if they are hurt and if they feel that they are being leave along. Human is so interesting. This is because, since before birth, we always seek for something. Like the sperm seeking the ovum, babies were seeking for their mom, a teenager seeking for their love one, an adult who would seek for their purpose of existence. We always need to find something, and it is natural.

I myself, usually ask for someone’s opinion regarding any problem that I faced. I need someone to give me some word that can give me another reason to keep going on. I need a guide and a direction from someone that already experience thing before me.

What should we do if people ask question regarding their problem? A problem that you might encounter by yourself in your life or a problem that you never encounter but it is common everywhere. Usually, a friend would ask their friend on the topic of love, family, relationship and friendship. Only that. If someone come to me and ask me regarding their financial problem, I would usually pass that topic. I am not a person that you would seek to consult you on your pocket problem. I usually being ask about love, family problem and friendship. As far as I experience, I really don’t mind even a lot of them come to me asking the same question every time.

I would not consider myself as a good advisor or problem solver. But I love to listen to story. I love to share something that I know and some of my opinion with them. No matter what, I will always concern about the people that need me as a place for them to talk. And I would respect all the confidentiality within the discussion.

Sometimes, I have problem choosing word to say. Mostly, I don’t like to talk about that things directly because I could not speak a proper word face to face. Sometimes I did talk face to face but with emotional environment, sounds everywhere, sad face, tear, it would influence the way I give my opinion. I will always listen and non stop listening if things goes like that.

So the other method, that I like the most, is when someone text me, email me or write a letter to me( which is nonsense to do nowadays with technology all around the street). When they text me, I will read and I would have a plenty of time to think before replying to them. I will always consider about their feelings, analyze deeply their problem, empathize and try to give them the best support I have.

For me, in listening (or reading) to someone’s problem I need to practice a certain guideline that I made for myself. I really need to follow this guide as I listed below

I need To:

1. Understand the problem ( ask question if I don’t)
2. Listen to everything they wanted to say ( @ reply the message telling them to tell the story more and more)
3. Look to the problem in many different way ( different perspective)
4. Ask about their feeling currently and on the time things happen
5. Ask about their opinion on their problem
6. Ask whether they have a way to solve the problem or not
7. Ask about how they want to solve it ( in what way)
8. Keep them happy
9. Try not to make jokes about the problem but make jokes to cheer them up
10. Give something for them to think if you have an idea on how to solve the problem
11. Don’t solve the problem. Make them think.
12. Don’t give advice.
13. Don’t act clever.
14. Give them a freedom to whatever they want.
15. Tell them you will always be there and support them.


It is funny to make a what to do list. I’m feeling like a nerd and jerk. But with this it will do for some simple-simple thing. Haha.

By the way, I don’t play with other people problem. I am born naturally to concern about someone else around me even I look like nothing. I really want people around me to be happy. To feel happy and to live happily every after even me myself did not. For me, making someone else happy is the same as making yourself happy.

I myself have a problem too. I seek someone to help me but usually, someone did not really understand my problem. And I hate when people give me advice that I don’t really want to hear. That is why in my guideline I put “don’t give advice”. If you are giving advice to someone, it make you like a clever one and sometime, you will sick when people advise you, and anger will come after that. I don’t know how to describe it, but you will feel it. Really.

So, actually, I really want someone to know and to have 15 things I listed above or such so I can ask their opinion. I will always hope so. Haha.

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