Pregnant before marriage

Most people do not want to talk about this.  Some even try to deny the subject,  imagining a perfection in the society.  We are living in a muslim community and as a Muslim community we are perfect. 

They are not wrong but they are not completely right.  It's happening and we are no perfect than any other society.  In fact we could be worse if nobody address the issue.
I have seen a lot of pregnancy before marriage in my practice. No, not non muslim, they were muslim.  In fact half of them I non Muslim and half of them are muslim..

What religion have to do with this?  For me religion only play a small role in prevention of this subject but in reality and statically speaking they are no difference at all whether you are muslim or not.

The issue rises due to lack of education.  I'm not saying sexual education alone but all other education factor play important role here.  Even education in religion would help reducing the number of premarital pregnancy.  I m not going to talk about sexual education here.  Just want to highlight the issue so that everyone can realize the reality here.

I would not talk about prevention,  let other people talk about that.  As a medical officer working in hospital, I am more interested in addressing the management after this thing happen.  I am not supposed to tell this mother that she will go to hell for her zin in premarital sex,  or tell this mother that she has no future after this,  or cancel her wedding ceremony plan to be done soon.  I want to do best for them so that they can live as other mother would be.

So,  these mother deserve emotional and physical support ( blaming her for her sin would not change the situation). These mother deserve the same hospital care as other mother.  For me there is no different between them and any other mother. Or perhaps I don't care.

I could not say pregnancy before marriage is ok or vice versa.  I just treat them the best I can.

However,  those women out there who are planning to get married,  and you are having a regular o occasion sexual activity with your partner,  these also goes to those male,  you have to think and plan about the pregnancy first.  Pregnancy should not be an accidental one.  You will not be a good mother or provide a good care for your children if you are not ready yet.  It is a big thing.  A big decision in life to make. 

You need to have a good wedding ceremony for you and your partner to remember until the end of time and child also came with a good memory like that.  It is not memorable if you are rushing a ceremony just because you are pregnant or your partner is pregnant. 

Having a child is not as easy as having a dog or a cat.

So,  I still not supporting pregnancy before marriage. Unless you decide to do that after discussion with your partner.  I believe I am speaking for Muslim side of view so such discussion would not happen.  But please think before you do.  If you can hold sex until marriage like what you are supposed to do anyway,  then do it.  If not,  please protect yourself,  get a contraception.  Think about the future.

As I said,  Islam prohibit premarital sex but the problem is happenings it's real. So other than religious advise I need to address this issue in a different way.  No matter how much time you spent to make people adhere to Islamic teaching,  there must be somebody who will not follow. So for those who did not, get up,  think straight.  Protection first.


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